Uninspired & Unmotivated
<Generic quote about motivation>
Whatever the quote is I [am 90% certain I] disagree with it!
Everywhere I look on the socials people in lockdown are having creative growth sprouts! My feeds are like the adult version of a 5th-grade talent show no one asked for. People be out here out of either sheer boredom or due to the excess time on their hands are producing art, music, memes, TikToks and all sorts of content in every possible format imaginable and then some!
Now, I know I sound bitter and jealous about my lack of talent, time, or any other factor that’s stopping me from shining bright in the spotlight of quarantine talent!
Well, you wouldn’t be too wrong, it’s certainly quite possibly a party to the offense. I neither confirm nor deny these charges brought against me, by myself!
Now in my defense, the first few weeks in quarantine became unexpectedly hectic, Work From Home was initiated even before the curfews started and the being in digital marketing, one of the most versatile and adaptable industries, everything that was planned and in the pipeline had to be reevaluated overnight (quite literally) and adapted to the situation at hand.
Safe to say I had my hands full with work, so budding them create veins had to take a back seat, but it’s been a couple of weeks (jeez! we’re in the counting quarantine time in weeks already) of low-intensity WFH and boredom has been creeping in.
Now, here’s where you’d think the creative juices would start to flow! the only form of entertainment I had apart from Netflix was my Playstation, which decided to self destruct at the most inconvenient of times. So, that’s one distraction out of the way.
To do a bit of self-inflation, I’m not someone considered completely talentless, unrefined but definitely not lacking. Urgh, I feel so dirty just admitting it to myself. However, for the sake of argument, let’s say I’m not a complete hack… just to make this whole rant valid.
I do a bit of sketching (I justify my impulse purchase of an iPad by this), I can carry a tune and strum the most basic four chords on a guitar (Anyway, here’s wonder wall), and I did do a bit of creative writing professionally.
But every time I found myself bored and out of things to do I found myself uninspired to create. Many are the times I picked up a pen or opened a black canvas on the iPad, fired up Medium or Word, glanced at the guitar… and nothing happened, I was uninspired and unmotivated.
Maybe I’ve become a bit too comfortable with being a temporary ‘stay at home bachelor’ and don’t really need a distraction, not that I’m implying that’s what others are doing, but It’s possible I need to procrastinate or be under copious amounts of stress to create? Some of my most productive creative flows have come at the witching hour ( 2 hours before a deadline) and most of my rants have also been written at the actual witching hour when I can’t fall asleep or when I was secretly attention deprived and wanted the internet to notice me and drop some of them sweet sweet endorphins in the form of Likes.
Or maybe my motivation came from having to show up? You know… keep up the appearances and pretend not to the lethargic lazy person I really am?
Is this quarantine situation is turning out to be a perfect breeding ground for apathy, and being able to just disengaging from having to show up and bring your A-game just to stay relevant is somehow a relief?
Anyway, this isn’t a rant complaining about people getting creative or my creative block… rather thankful for both. I just wanted to write about something and this was the only train of thought that actually went anywhere.
Also, internet-friendly quotes are bullshit.